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Today, January 6th, many people observe Epiphany. Like the holy days of every faith it marks a significant event in the tradition of believers. Captured in the story of wise men following a star to a child in Bethlehem, Epiphany celebrates the revelation of Christianity to people outside its source in Judaism.

Whatever the milestones of age, relationships or religion, anniversaries invite us to pause, affirm, regain perspective and recommit ourselves to the journey.

Many years ago on this day I was ordained to the Christian ministry. I was following my star. As I had anticipated, it led me to accompany others through realms of deepest joy and darkest loss. Subsequently, it took me places I could not imagine at the time — out of parish work into farming in rural Appalachia; adventuring through Outward Bound; teaching in the backcountry and in the classroom; working with children at summer camps and in urban schools through AmeriCorps; leading a nonprofit organization, coaching people through transitions in life and work and supporting those who harness the power of horses to heal.

At this stage of life the star continues to beckon, but now it is leading me to let go of much I once relied upon to define myself. Its arc shines not on past successes or failures but on mindfulness in the moment. Its grace is the offer of an inner peace without fear of either the present or the future. My response is no more and no less a task than to accept, receive and embrace the gift. That is my anniversary commitment.

What star do you follow? What surprises has it revealed? What commitment will you make for the next leg of your journey?

Thanksgiving setting and place cards by our granddaughter

Thanksgiving table with setting and place cards by our granddaughter

Long before we found it I imagine it was a grand table with leaves that held many meals and absorbed countless conversations. By the time we found it, only the round ends remained. A craftsman had coupled them into a circle and attached a central post with legs salvaged from another once proud piece of furniture. We discovered it in the dim light on the upper floor of a used furnishings store in New Haven, our first purchase as a married couple 48+ years ago.

For several decades the round table was at the hub of our family. In high chairs and captain’s chairs we sat around it eating our meals and playing our games. It always seemed spacious enough to accommodate visitors while sufficiently intimate for discourse and sharing. The polished wood stood firm as our numbers and bodies grew, holding our talk, bouncing our laughter back at us and reverberating with our music.

Retired a few yeas ago for a table with leaves, it was dismantled and relegated once again to storage in a dark upper room.

Last week we resurrected it. Our older son transported it to his sister’s home near New Haven. Our younger son helped in reassembling it. Once again it became our family centerpiece, as all but one of us gathered round it for Thanksgiving. Added to the circle, our granddaughter set the table and created name cards from the holly bush outside. Unable to be with us in person, our younger daughter sent place settings of china she had claimed from my parents’ home after they passed; she too and they were with us.

The round table returns to serve the next generation. One hoop closes and the next opens to begin the arc that someday no doubt will come around again.

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This year’s fall colors have been resplendent, prompting renewed gratitude for my many blessings. The reds, oranges and yellows, punctuated by an occasional green pine exclamation point, also bring to mind the season of this man’s life.

I have just retired from a major piece of my coaching work, and there is more time to devote to the tasks of this decade. Readings from my astrologer and numerologist reinforce that this time of life will focus on introspection and spiritual awakening. It is not that I have been asleep in these matters all my life, but that there will be a new embrace of them and deepening engagement and appreciation.

A meditation reading on my birthday last week provided a succinct summary of this season’s call to action: cultivate loving kindness, do no harm, tame the mind. *  Among the pillars of Buddhist teaching, they resonate profoundly. Going forward, may they be in service not only to this pilgrim but to all who experience their rich colors in the landscape of their own journeys.

* Joan Borysenko, Pocketful of Miracles, October 9th.

Three events last month put me in a time warp: my 50th college reunion, a special gathering of classmates from high school and the deaths of two friends. In contrast to chronological time, which ticks along with steady disinterest even though it appears to speed up with each passing year, the time warp I experienced is kairotic (from the Greek, kairos) – an opportune moment filled with possibility and meaning.

At first glance the relationships from the reunions are anchored in the events of yesteryear and the persons we were at the time. However, the joy I found in reconnecting was not in going back to the past, but rather seeing that the relationships begun decades ago have become a springboard to what lies ahead.

The loss of the two friends with whom I have shared special times was a sad reminder of how quickly chromos ticks along and how important it is for us to seize the auspicious moment NOW. Inevitably, what lies ahead for us physically is decline, but as long as we are able, we have choice about the attitude we bring to the moment. One choice is to nurture those friendships that are grounded in common experiences. By choosing to renew and cultivate those connections, we go back to the future.

Steven Charleston posts weekly on FB and is a source of inspiration to me and many others. Here is today’s post.

Here is a seeker’s prayer, offered for all who are searching for the Spirit, not inside the walls of faith, but outside, in the open sky of questions, among the uncertain souls who bear the scars of conformity, in the company of mystics and dreamers, religious nomads wandering the far corners of ritual, looking for a truth worth believing, believing goodness is out there, undefined but no less sacred, beneath the moonlight, among the whispers of innocent hearts, a holy hope carried like a gift, brought to the place where God promised to meet us. May all seekers be blessed. May they discover what they seek. May they be heralds of light.

While preparing to co-facilitate a men’s weekend, I came across this quote from James Thurber. It applies to all of us regardless of gender but is particularly apt for us men.

“All men should strive to learn before they die, what they are running from, and to, and why.”

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The green tendrils are extended, waiting. Months go by. Hope fades with little sign of life. Is it but a plastic imitation?

December is the cold season of waiting. Is it our losses that populate our darkness – a loved one? our health? a job? Is it the passage of time and our aging we grieve, as we await earth’s turning and the arrival of new light?

Is our inner landscape really desert dry, or is the impatience of waiting the signature of a gestation that one day, unannounced, delivers a cascade of sunrise pink blooms and a rebirth of possibilities?

In a reading from Pocketful of Miracles Joan Borysenko reminds us that grace is a gift.  It is independent of our good works or our failings.  She goes on to cite the words of a Hindu master: the winds of grace are blowing all the time – we just need to raise our sails.

Graceful living combines awareness, intention and action. Awareness is being mindful of what is going on around us and what our bodies are telling us.  Anyone who has sailed knows the importance of being attentive to the presence, force and direction of the wind.

Intention is setting the destination.  It may be to complete a project due at the end of the week.  It may be to embark on a journey of many months or even the rest of our life.

However, unless we take action, unless we raise our sails, we will not harness the winds of grace. Stuck in our doldrums we will miss the gifts the universe offers us.

What does it mean for you to raise your sails today?

In her book, Wrestling with Our Inner Angels, Nancy Kehoe highlights lessons from her vocation as a nun and clinical psychologist working with the mentally ill.  She cites one patient who described his Zen practice as a way to stay centered and his music as a way to stay connected. Staying centered and staying connected are simple but profound pursuits at the core of spirituality and leadership.

Staying centered is at the heart of most religious traditions and spiritual practices.  It involves being present in the moment, developing awareness of self, being mindful of others and the world around us and opening ourselves to the sacred, however we understand it. Staying centered in leadership requires aligning performance with key personal and organizational purposes and values and flexing with inevitable changes in the environment.

Staying connected is a spiritual practice of nurturing our essential relationships with ourselves, partners, families, friends and the animals we tend. Staying connected as a leader involves holding true to the mission, cultivating relationships with customers, team members and other stakeholders and anticipating both threats and opportunities.

Reflecting on staying centered and connected to self and all that surrounds us, I am reminded of a line from As You Like It: “these are counsellors that feelingly persuade me what I am.”

What do you fear?  Maybe the best way to deal with it is to lean into it.

It was minus ten degrees this past week – not unusual for winter in New Hampshire. Those of us accustomed to this climate know that we must be aware of two consequences: frostbite and hypothermia.

Exposed flesh freezes quickly when the temperature dips below zero (F). The likelihood increases dramatically when you add wind to the equation.  Freezing flesh kills it, leaving dead or damaged tissue when it is re-warmed.

If the body itself cools down below a certain point, critical functions are at risk and begin to shut down.  This is called hypothermia.  Without warming death is inevitable.

A survival technique I learned in Outward Bound years ago requires you to burrow in the snow to stay warm.  It is counterintuitive, a fact that has a great lesson to teach us about life and our fears.  One day I built an igloo out of blocks of snow and ice and slept in it that night.  The temperature outside dropped to -15 (F).  The temperature inside the igloo was 15 degrees.  While I was dressed warmly for my experiment, those 30 degrees could be the difference between life and death for someone less prepared.

I dare say few of us will try this stunt.  On the other hand, every one of us faces harsh realities and the consequences of our fears.  The lesson here may be: rather than let our fears freeze us, we should lean into them in order to reduce their hold on us.