My soul mate is on a plane to Denver. Tonight she will visit our youngest, and then she will head north to work with students we coach in the equine certification program. Our house is quiet, the sky filled with clouds, the earth awaiting rain.
Yesterday we celebrated our anniversary. We had a relaxed dinner at a place whose cuisine we enjoy. It was very different from a year ago when our children surprised us with a gala barbecue that filled our home with family, friends, music and laughter.
Reflecting on our years together, I am reminded of a friend’s observation that those who choose marriage end up in three relationships. They can be with the same person or different people. I can see that ours has followed that pattern in 20-year chapters.
The first relationship was marked by the passion of exploring the attractions that drew us to each other, creating a life together, stuttering starts in employment and the miracles of four children. It ended on some bumps that led to a defining recommitment.
The second relationship accompanied a deepening of the professional pursuits we each adopted and attending to parental responsibilities, as our children bounced their way through adolescence and launched into adulthood.
We are now in our third marriage, living many of the dreams that our hearts embraced long ago – children who love and honor us and each other as siblings, a home on a hill with a view, a business of our own that delivers the values of what we have learned over the years. Did I mention our grandchild?
We continue as companions of each other’s history. We focus on the joy in each day and gently prepare for what lies ahead. With deepest gratitude we celebrate the blessings that have come our way and that we are to each other, one marriage of three relationships.
Hi Bob,
Belated congratulations to you and Peggy! Your musings are a rich and meaningful tribute to a long term committed relationship. You have expressed so well the growth and change that accompanies the journey of being “companions of each other’s history.” What a great phrase! How blessed to have a deep and wide enough container of love and commitment to hold all of the changes a lifetime brings! You are soul mates, indeed, and you inspire me, both individually and as a couple. I am so grateful to have reconnected after all these years.
Love,
Martie
Peggy and I are blessed to have you back in our lives, Martie, especially as we journey into the years ahead. I am looking forward to more time together and including Alan to complete our circle. Sending love and light to you both.
Congratulations on a life filled with joy. You bless us all with your gifts of commitment and devotion. Precious. Thank you! It’s an honor to know you both.
Thanks, Clemma, for your kind words and your friendship. We are honored by both.
Happy anniversary. Sorry I missed it. Wonderful words. With much love, Mary
Not to worry. It’s more important that I didn’t miss it! 🙂
Happy Anniversary. What a beautiful essay on the journey of marriage. Love to you both.
Thanks, Ashara.
I love this entry, Bob 🙂 I guess Declan and I–coming up on our 20 year anniversary next Wed. June 20th–have we’ve made it through the first marriage and are headed into the next stage… woohoo!! Congratulations to you and Peggy, two people I admire so much and love deeply. xoxo Katie
Thanks, Katie. May you and Declan be as blessed as Peggy and I have been, and from what I can see you are indeed. Congratulations to you both on next week’s anniversary. We’re sending you love and light.
Happy anniversary to you and Peggy! This is a very sweet post, and I wish for you both the happiest of days ahead.
Glenn
Thanks, Glenn. We’re blessed with each other, our family and our friends.