Anger abounds these days in relationships, households, our communities and our nation. What if we viewed our anger as a messenger and paused to explore the lessons it may be raising for us?
Anger can signal that our values have been violated, reminding us of what we care most about. To the extent that it is a clip of preset responses that is loaded and ready for firing, it can be destructive. To the extent that it festers inside us without resolution, it undermines our health and happiness.
In the appendix section of The Book of Joy, co-author Douglas Abrams suggests some questions that may be helpful. In applying these, focus on an area in your life where the embers of wrath wait only for an external spark to release them into a conflagration.
Anger often involves some disappointment or frustrated expectation. Ask yourself, “What was my expectation? Can I release it and accept what is or how others are rather than how I think they should be? Can I also acknowledge my part in the conflict? Can I see my part in contributing to the situation I am angry about? If I am angry about what has been said, can I see that these are just words that no longer exist, that, like all things, they are impermanent? Will my anger benefit anyone, including me?”
You could also reflect on how, if not contained, anger can lead to destructive action – from saying hurtful things to outright violence – that we later regret. Contemplate how anger can destroy relationships, alienate others, and rob you of your peace of mind. (p. 318)
Examining the messages delivered by our anger can lead us to different ways of being with ourselves and each other.
sacredlead 
Anger is too easily released these days.
I long for the days when one examined anger, hand wrote feelings, looked at them and in lots of cases rethought what was written down and decided not to send or release it or rewrote it. Lots of thought went into this process.
Today everything is instantaneous frequently without significant thought. Email a definite asset, but also a violent volcano too. One must be very careful.
I look for to an exercise of looking at my anger next time it rears its ugly head.
Love this perspective. It is a great reminder to all of us about the wisdom of sitting with our feelings before acting on them with volcanic eruption!
Bob, This is great, You demonstrate more and more wisdom. I’m sending it on. Bless you, thank you!
As always I am grateful for your feedback and support.
Great post, thank you. A wise person once taught me to notice sudden feelings of anger, because they are a signal about my inner feelings. Noticing the signal can help me understand myself more accurately, and to re-evaluate.
Welcome to the blog and thanks for your contribution.