Archives for category: Spirituality
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…to keep dancing

February 17, 2012 //
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As is often the case, our clients are our teachers.  One of the individuals whom I coach introduced me to Mark Nepo.  As part of his healing process from cancer, Mark wrote The Book of Awakening, a collection of daily meditations.  Today’s message danced across his pages to this post.

Death pushed me to the edge.  Nowhere to back off.  And to the shame of my fears,  I danced with abandon in his face.  I never danced as free.  And Death backed off, the way dark backs off a sudden burst of flame.  Now there’s nothing left, but to keep dancing.  It is the way I would have chosen had I been born three times as brave.

Categories Inspiration, Personal Growth, Spirituality

Self-compassion

December 11, 2011 //
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In my coaching practice I have been struck by the number of people who are unbelievably hard on themselves. That is why an article by Kristin Neff caught my attention: Self Compassion: The Key to Psychological Well-Being.  You can read the full article by clicking on the title.

A short version of her message goes like this:

  1. There is often a disconnect between feeling and acting compassionate toward others and doing so toward yourself.
  2. Caregivers who care for themselves are less likely to suffer from compassion fatigue.  When you meet your own needs, you will come from a replenished and much more loving mind-set, and that means you will have more to give.
  3. There is a difference between self-esteem and self-compassion.  Self-esteem is judging yourself positively – “This is me; I am good.”  Self-compassion has nothing to do with judgment or evaluation.  Self-compassion is a way of relating to yourself kindly and with concern.
  4. There is mounting evidence that the emotional component of self-compassion is linked to our chemistry.  When you give yourself compassion you release oxytocin, that feel-good hormone that makes us feel safe, secure, loved, and accepted.  When you give yourself a hug to support yourself, when you’re kind to yourself, or generally when you just really care about yourself,  you are actually changing your biochemistry.
  5. There are spiritual dimensions to self-compassion, but I’ll save those for a follow-up post.

Meanwhile, what are some ways you can show compassion to yourself?  A deep breath?  A hand over the heart (self hug)?  An affirmation?  Releasing judgment?  Acknowledging that, like everyone else, you are a child of God, whose every grace is available to you for the receiving?

Categories Personal Growth, Spirituality

Bless This House

September 18, 2011 //
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Peggy and I attended a special house-warming yesterday.  Our friends Alan and Johnathon are artists, teachers, writers and coaches.   Johnathon has just accepted appointment as Director of Opera at the Boston Conservatory.

We met them in 2006 when we attended three workshops that Alan facilitated on clarifying one’s purpose in life and moving fully into living that purpose.   Those workshops shaped the direction that Peggy and I have been pursuing ever since.  Alan directs the Center for Transformational Presence, and I highly commend him, his books, his training, his coaching and his singing!

Most who attended were former clients who live in the region and some of their new neighbors.  We came to bless their home with music, poems, reflections, rituals, food and libations.  It was a joyous occasion.  While Peggy and I knew a few people whom we had met when we did our training, most folks were new to us.  Except they weren’t.  It was like having a family reunion and meeting relatives for the first time, only, connecting deeply with them right away and wishing you could spend more time with them.

One person brought a hymn that we sang.  The words by Louis Untermeyer describe the space that Alan and Johnathon have created, even in the two short months they have lived there.   It is the kind of energy that Peggy and I seek to create for our home.  As you read them, may they bless you and the sacred spaces of your dwelling.

By faith made strong, the rafters will withstand the battering of the storm.  This hearth, though all the world grow chill, will keep you warm.

Peace shall walk softly through these rooms, touching our lips with holy wine, till every casual corner blooms into a shrine.

With laughter drown the raucous shout, and, though these sheltering walls are thin, may they be strong to keep hate out and hold love in.

Categories Inspiration, Spirituality

What Time Is It?

August 17, 2011 //
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Like many people I have been deeply troubled in the past several months by the behavior of politicians in this country and the entourage of special interests that feed them.   If not lost already, we seem to be losing our way as human beings, citizens and leaders.  If this is the model of our democracy, we should not be surprised that others turn away.

During this time I have read Dan Millman’s Way of the Peaceful Warrior.  In the book Dan’s mentor asks two questions.   What time is it? and Where are we?   He accepts only two answers as correct —  Now and Here.

Warrior energy is often associated with fighting and violence.  Examples abound, from the literal warfare being waged around the globe today to the virulent polarization between political, religious, economic and cultural camps.

Fortunately, the warrior archetype also includes qualities that may be harnessed for peace — showing up, being aware and taking compassionate action.  Peace begins here and now within each of us, as we commit to being mindful in the moment, clear in establishing the yes and no boundaries of what we will tolerate, courageous in acting and loving in the way we conduct ourselves.

In her book The Four Fold Way Angeles Arrien identifies three kinds of power — the power of position, the power of communication and the power of presence.   The archetype of the Warrior requires us to use power in an enlightened way that incorporates integrity, alignment of speech and action, honor and respect and serves humanity fairly and justly. 

Arrien leans to the power of presence, which draws on our spiritual wellsprings within.  It is the energy of the peaceful warrior.  It is the place where each of us can begin.  Empowering ourselves now and here may just inspire others to do the same.

Categories Leadership, Spirituality

Shaping the Human Mind

June 17, 2011 //
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I just received a beautiful message from my friend, Anne Hillman, and was moved to share it with you.  Anne is the author of Awakening the Energies of Love and The Dancing Animal Woman.   To learn more about her work and her upcoming Living a Surrendered Life Retreats, go to www.annehillman.net.   Thanks, Anne, for this gift.

I tend to think that new life emerges from seeds and forget a far more ancient truth.  Today, I find myself celebrating the way it can also arise from the very old–like the tiny seedlings sprouted from the living root of a giant redwood tree.   This new life simply claims the giant’s root as its own, surrenders to its impetus, and grows toward the light.

How do we cooperate with life’s gradual shaping of the human mind – its painstaking work of drawing us towards the light of greater awareness?  As I see it, the action required is to trust the great root on which we stand – and learn to surrender.   Some see surrender as defeat, a capitulation to an outer force, but it is really an inner relaxation – into the root. 

What does this use of the word ‘root’ mean to you?  That matters.   For when you know what you rest on and can relax into it, your heart opens to life’s secret – its creative impetus conveyed beneath thought: a feeling, an intuition, an image, or a confirming synchronicity.

Subtle clues like these remind us that there is infinitely more to life – a reality we barely notice but that the body knows intimately – a wisdom built into the great root on which we live.  When we remain exquisitely attuned to life’s presence in this way, it will often surprise us; nudge us to be more authentic, to improvise, to move in a new direction.  Its whispered hints may feel absurd, even impossible.  But if you dare to follow them, you will be adding more light to life’s deep need for it at this time. 

Categories Spirituality
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